Just Checking In

 "Just checking in..." 

I would get those messages from my first college roommate every so often when my father was dying. He was in Illinois and I was in Prince Edward Island, unable to go because of Covid restrictions. Just a quick message to let me know she was thinking of me, and there if I needed her. It was all I needed, though I didn't understand how much at the time. 

Losing a parent is never easy, losing a parent while living thousands of miles away and unable to be there is indescribable. It's hard to imagine that the next time I go home, he won't be there. He will never be there again. So, I try not to think about that. I feel like my grief is on hold, though it pops in and out at really weird and unexpected times (like driving down the road on the way to work).

Luckily though, I have good people in my corner. I know I am loved by so many, and so many prop me up on those less than lovely days. I have people checking in on me. Now, it's my turn. One of my friends is going through the same thing, saying that long goodbye to their beloved father. So, this morning, I sent that message, "Just checking in..."

How about you? Anyone you could send that message? Three simple words that can mean the world to someone. Three simple words that give someone the time and space to talk, to sigh, to say thank you, to know that they have someone in their corner. Just three simple words that can change someone's life. 

Just checking in...

A Playlist for Kindness

Kindness doesn't care how old you are, what your skin color is, who you voted for, or anything else. Kindness just matters. 

I saw on Facebook, that this week, February 14-20,  is "Random Acts of Kindness Week".  I've been thinking about kindness lately. I know I am feeling much more sensitive these days, and I am trying to lean into that. Everywhere I look I have seen moments of extreme kindness, and moments of true meanness. Humanity is such a complex concept. We have the ability to be brought to tears of empathy by someone in need, and yet still spit on another's shortcomings. Sometimes it depends on the time of day which response we will choose.

On Friday I made a pretty innocuous reply to a tweet by Dr. Biden on Twitter. She (or her pr people, I don't really care) posted pictures of huge heart cut-outs on the White House lawn. It was such a teacher-y thing to do, and it really made my day. I said I was happy there was an educator in the White House and thanked her for what she does. Pretty bland, but the responses I got! Not so bland, lol! It's a lot easier to be mean these days, have you noticed? According to those Tweets, I am, "what's wrong with education today", "brainwashing children to hate themselves", "blind to propaganda" "narcissistic indoctrinator", and the list goes on. Whatever- I choose to not reply, and I choose to not let nameless (because most of them don't even use their real names), faceless dots on a screen hurt me.

Every year in my kindergarten class, we spend a lot of time talking about kindness. We sing about it, we read about it, I try to infuse it into so many of the lessons we have during the day. Kindness is more than just being nice, it's thinking about another person in such a way, and treating them in such a way that you would want to be treated. Kindness is finding ways to make someone happy, to make their load easier, to help one another. The more we infuse kindness into our day, the more I see it being played out in their lives. 

One year I had a student who was very petite. While she was at recess one day, an older student started to make fun of her size, which caused her to start crying. When her classmates found this out, they were outraged. Now, let me give you a bit of a background on this class- they literally (I do mean to use that word literally) fist fought over every single thing. It was a most exhausting year. But, as much as this class fought each other, they could not stand by and let one of their own be made fun of. From that day on, my friend never was left alone on the playground again. There was always someone close by. They clearly picked up on some forms of kindness...

This year, one of my students struggles to get her boots off. Her friends take turns volunteering to help her. 

Last year my students would teach their classmates how to do intricate art activities.

One year I had a student with loads of emotional and behavioural issues. After he tore the classroom apart for the umpteenth time, I wanted to talk about it with the other students. They proceeded to tell me all of the wonderful things this one student would do.

Children understand kindness, and they practice it. They aren't perfect, and they still have those "me first" moments, but when you take time to build a classroom community, things like this happen.

What does it mean to be a human? What does it mean to do kind things? You don't always have to like the other person, you don't even have to know them. But you can always be kind to them. If you can be anything, be kind. Always.

Kindness playlist:

Try a Little Kindness

Love Train (Playing for Change)

Everyday People (Playing for Change)

Keb Mo: Life Is Beautiful

Sam Cooke: This Little Light

My Own Two Hands

Everyday Hero

In the Middle

I came to the woods to sit, and to think. My thoughts swirling around in my head like a martini, being shaken, not stirred.

My father is dying. 

To be fair, he's been dying for a couple of years now, but it's the middle of the end. Not the beginning, not the end, but the never ending middle.

Things you know about death and dying are no longer theoretical when you are in this position, and no one can tell you what it's like until you get there. 

Like how you're walking through a fog, but you're constantly aware. You don't register much, but then again, you register everything. 

Like how you truly can compartmentalize. You can go to work, laugh, go for drinks, go out of town, live in the moment, and all of that, but it's ever so exhausting. 

Like how you think you have it all under control, even if you carry all of your stress in your neck. (You just need a new pillow, right?) But one mis-worded text that is inconsequential can send you to the bathroom at work, sobbing. Then you have to tell your co-workers what's wrong, and you get their sorrow and sympathy- and that's the last thing you want. And now you're just embarrassed for over-reacting. 

Like how you find out they're moving your dad to rehab, and your mom is over the moon excited. But all you can think is, still? The ups and downs, the ebbs and flows. Those are what both sustain and kill you at the same time. 

No one can prepare you for how exhausting it all is. Because it goes on for so long, all of it just creeps up on you, and then it falls back into the shadows. But you know it's there, waiting to jump yet again. Over and over, in and out, back and forth. Constantly.

You still forge ahead, because life carries on. And you've got work to do. 

Looking Through Rose Coloured Glasses

Sir Ken Robinson gave the most popular TedTalk of all time, Do Schools Kill Creativity In it, he explains that, yes, schools do kill creativity. It's an amazing talk, one I whole heartedly endorse, one I refer to frequently. His talk was very thought provoking. We lost Sir Robinson this past summer due to cancer. 

Today, on my walk, I was listening (again) to Michelle Obama read her book Becoming. In chapter 4 she talks about her childhood, her neighborhood and her school. Her experiences growing up mirror mine in many ways- the gathering of family, playing in the neighborhood, walking to a school not far away from home. I don't know if it's the death of an educational figure, listening to the book, the end of my summer, or Covid19- chances are all of these are the culprit- but apparently this last full week of my summer break has me in a melancholy mood. I'm starting to sound like my great aunt and uncle, "Back in my day, schools were better. Music was better."

I was a child, I know, so my memory is perhaps not 100% accurate, and I know the 70s were not a perfect time. I know vast portions of our society did not have the advantages I did. I do not want to return to that time, per se, but I think back to schools, to my educational opportunities, and I can't help but think we've lost something along the way.

The 70s were a time of neighborhood schools, people knew who lived next door, kids could be out from sun up to sun down. I walked alone to the gas station on the corner to buy a bottle of pop and a candy bar for .50, or my friends and I would ride our bikes a few blocks in the other direction to the "Little Store" where we bought penny candy. There was a local park with swings, a sprinkler that went all summer long, metal slides and climber. It was nothing for me to walk the six blocks to it alone. We had freedoms that we took for granted. Younger generations will never know what the streetlight coming on means to us. The same goes for school.

When I was in the fourth grade, my classroom was in the area surrounding the library. It was called "the pod" and there was an open classroom concept. We had dividing walls between each class, but they were open to the library. As a student, I don't remember being distracted by what was going on in the other classes or the library. I don't remember it being too loud. But I do remember the freedom we felt to get up, move around, work in groups. We went from having individual desks to tables. Group work was the norm. It was like the kindergarten idea, only for older children. 

Speaking of kindergarten, it was a true child's garden. We played, we made crafts, we had a short rest time and snack time. It was a half day, play based classroom and the favored "centre" to play in was a wooden climber in the middle of the classroom. Yes, a wooden climber where we could climb up, do flips over, walk across the ladder. When we made choices where we would play, we chose a colored string- the color for the climbing center was black, btw. I still remember this almost 50 years later.

Three quarters of the way through 4th grade, my family moved and I started a new school. A different set-up than the open classroom concept, but definitely the same teaching attitude. I think it was when I was in the 5th grade (but it could have been the end of 4th) that we took part in a city-wide program called "Free to be- you and me" based on the Marlo Thomas album and television special (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Free_to_Be..._You_and_Me). We all piled into school busses for a week (maybe two) of full on arts education, with a strong side over of old school feminism. Pretty sure that wouldn't go over very well in todays climate. It truly makes me sad to think of how good I had it growing up and comparing it to now. We can't go back in time, but do you think, in some ways, education can?

We are currently in "uncharted territory" (I hate that term, but it is fitting in the context of modern education in the time of Covid19). Some of us are teaching virtually, some are teaching face to face, some are in a hybrid model. Those of us teaching face to face are learning to balance what is best for the physical health of our students and their mental/developmental health. Because of, or in spite of this, we have a chance to reset the trajectory of education. I have my masters in 21st century learning. Most people automatically think "technology", and that is a part, but it is so much more than that. Technology

is more like a tool for 21st century learning, it is not the driving force of it. What it is, is encapsulated by what is known as the 4C's of 21 Century Learning:

Critical Thinking

Communication

Collaboration

Creativity

Whether we are teaching face to face or virtually, we can include all four of these into our lessons. Now is the time to step up and truly think about each of these in relation to our lessons. 

Are we teaching our students to think critically? This is hugely important right now- as too many of us seem to have lost that ability. We must teach students to sift through all of the information that is available to them. In this age of information, we are inundated with so much. Add to that the algorithms that Google and other search engines utilize, which narrows our search to "similar" links, and we find ourselves in an echo chamber. We need to teach students to critically think about what they have read, and figure out ways to find opposing voices. 

Are we teaching our students to communicate appropriately? Another lost art in this current age. The computer is just one way we can do this, but that is only one "language" of many (see https://reggioemilia2015.weebly.com/the-100-languages.html) In a conversation about children in this time, Carla Rinaldi also includes technology as one of the languages (https://youtu.be/EKqXLbBvR00). There is a common "meme" I have seen floating around social media: "Social Media has made too many of you comfortable disrespecting people and not getting punched in the mouth for it..."(https://images.app.goo.gl/B7bQimqLumsaQpTAA). While I don't advocate physical violence, the sentiment is true. We live in an age where people hide behind keyboards and say whatever comes into their minds, without consequence. We need to teach our students how to communicate, and that includes listening to others points of view, and with empathy. 

Are we giving our students time to collaborate? As educators, we present material to our students, but it is through collaboration with each other that it begins to make concrete sense to them. Even when working virtually, students can be given the freedom to discuss and explain, they can still collaborate. The toughest thing for many to do is to let go and trust the learning that happens between students. But that is where the meat and potatoes happens. We must be available to help correct any misgivings, but we also need to remember to step back and allow them to work that out for themselves.

Are we allowing for creativity in our students? Are we giving them time to create, musically, artistically, writing? We can't merely spout off "the facts" and expect a well rounded individual (sorry conservative friends, but education is more than the filling of a pail). We need the arts to help us make sense of the facts. And, as a side note, math, science, and art are inextricably linked.

We cannot go back to the 70s nor should we want to. But the 4 C's are the perfect vehicle to bring education into the 21st century. Teachers need the freedom to incorporate this into their lessons. Scripts are great in order to illustrate how a lesson could go, but if it doesn't come from the heart of the teacher, then they are merely going to be clanging gongs. And, who listens to a clanging gong?

I am too old to have children in school today, but someday I hope to have grandchildren in schools. I want for them, what I had. I want kindergarten to be a truly play based experience, I want their teachers to have the freedom to introduce them to things and ideas I cannot. I want them to be critical thinkers, because a critical thinker is a person who is free from the shackles of other peoples opinions, a critical thinker can sift through the bias  and get to the source. I want them to be able to communicate to others in a variety of ways, and in such a way as to communicate respectfully and with confidence. 

In order to teach for the future, perhaps there are things from the past we can utilize. We desperately need to figure out a way to teach in a way that does not kill creativity, but one that finds what each child needs and helps them to capitalize on that.

Call me idealistic, and tell me I have on rose colored glasses, but I think we can do this. We can be 21st Century teachers, and we can change the course of education for the better! We owe it to the next generation. 

Equilibrium

Equilibrium 

I sit on the beach. Two hours ago I was in the woods. I walked down a serpentine path and watched a snake slither into the grass.

The tide has turned as I sat here and watched. It's all a balance.

It is equilibrium.

I'm contained on an island as a pandemic rages through the world, as it surges in my homeland. I am safe here, but I watch my loved ones from afar in fear. What is my safely compared to theirs? Do we balance each other or cancel each other out? It's all equilibrium.

A black man was murdered by police in Colorado. He was walking down the street, minding his own business. He reminds me so much of my oldest son, but for the color of his skin. I can't balance that out. I cry for him, for all of them. My boy is safe, their boy is dead. That is not balance. No equilibrium.

Sunrise, sunset. Tide comes in, tide goes out. Easy come, easy go. It's a balance. It's equilibrium.

Of Power Points and White Boards

I've just begun working on my Masters in Education (I thought I was "bored"), and have been enjoying my most recent course, an introduction to research methods. This week we had an assignment due, and as I read the requirements, and balanced them out with my other responsibilities, I thought to myself, "Yeah. OK. I can do this, no problem." But then... but then! On Monday we received our weekly update from the professor. In the message he "casually" mentions that we should put our assignment on a Power Point and upload it to the group discussion site. I began to panic. "A Power Point?!?!? There is nothing in this assignment that tells us we have to do a Power Point!!!" You might know, I teach Kindergarten. I don't "do" Power Point. I probably use it two or three times a year- Meet the Teacher Night, maybe Welcome to Kindergarten, and I have one for a 3-D shape unit. So now, my stress level for this assignment went from 0-80 in about sixty seconds. I stewed on this for a few days.

That was Monday. Fast forward to Wednesday and a Professional Development session. Sandra Herbst (Educator and Superintendent from Manitoba) was in our province to present to all of the teachers, K-12 (they divided it up by 'families of schools', so not every teacher on one day, but there were about 600 on my day). She was showing a video of a high school math class where the students were working on a problem in groups using mini-white boards and markers. After showing the video, she spent about five minutes discussing how revolutionary this was for this particular teacher to use white boards in the class, and many of the intermediate and senior high teachers in the room were amazed by this "new technology". Meanwhile, my kindergarten colleagues and I were looking at each other in amusement. You see, we use mini-white boards in our classrooms all of the time (which Sandra Herbst did comment on- "all of the primary teachers in here are looking at the older grades and laughing right about now, because they've been using these for years).

That was Wednesday. Fast forward to Thursday in the staff room. I was talking to another colleague who was telling me about her husband (a high school teachers) using Power Point all of the time, like he could do it in his sleep. And that's when my epiphany happened. My instructor teaches high school and University. He probably uses Power Point every day, so much so that he could do it in his sleep. So him asking for us to put our presentations on Power Point was, for him (I assume), a very simple, regular thing to do. Just like, for me, using a mini-white board with my students is a very simple, regular thing to do.

That's when I realized: Mini-White boards are to high school teachers what power points are to kindergarten teachers.

Lesson learned? Perhaps I could use Power Point more often?

But the moral of this story is: We may say the same words, but we don't always speak the same language. It's important to remember that when we talk to each other.

And for my Power Point? I used pictures of me holding up a white board with questions on it- because that's how I roll

"Your High School Gym Teacher Would Be Proud Of You"

“Your high school gym teacher would be proud of you.”

That’s what my Nike Running App told me after my run today. I don’t know if my high school gym teacher would be proud of me, but I’m pretty sure he’d be laughing his ass off at me.

See, when I was in high school, juniors and seniors had PE together. Every semester we had to sign up for “electives” which included, but not limited to- bowling, billiards, basketball (which you never took willingly because the Varsity Basketball coach taught it), volleyball (see basketball…), and running. Now some, like bowling and billiards, were the primo choices, and others, like running were the loser choices. The PE teachers did their best to make it fair each semester so that you weren’t always stuck with the loser choices. I tell you all this to give you backstory as to why I was forced into taking running one semester.

Now, I was a fairly active high school student. I was a wrestling cheerleader, I walked to school most days (a mile, uphill, in snow, both ways). But I did not run. And if I’d put as much effort into pretty much anything as I did into not running, well, I’d probably have been a much better student. 

Every day we had to run around the track. But not my friend and I. We walked, and sang our favorite songs from our favorite bands. We exasperated our PE teacher to the point that for a week, we weren’t allowed to walk around the track together. We still walked. 

Then, because even PE teachers know it gets boring running around a track, he decided to send us running through the neighborhood. And to get us to “prove” we ran, they had pit stops for us to make, and the store owners would give us special rubber bands for us to return to our teacher to prove we ran the route intended. Another friend hid a car around the block. 

So, we set off on our “run”. As soon as we were out of sight of the PE teacher, we hopped in the car to make our pit stops. We’d drive up to the store, wait to see who would go in first (of the people who actually ran), then around the middle of the pack, we “run” into the store and get our rubber bands. We kept this up until we had all of the rubber bands needed, then drove back to the school, parking our car just out of sight of the campus. Then we’d run in like we’d been doing the activity the whole time.

Looking back, I don’t understand why no one ever told on us. And I wonder if Mr. Johnson ever knew we cheated. All I know is, I passed PE, and that’s all I cared about.

Every so often, my friends and I laugh about that PE class, but I suppose the laugh is on me. I began to run awhile back (and by awhile, I mean more than a few years). And now I can’t imagine my life without running…