We've been in kindergarten for a month. We have settled into a routine and the newness is starting to wear off. Now is when we need to put into practice the lessons of kindness and caring, that we've been talking about since day 1. We've been singing the songs about peace in our fingers and love in our hearts. We've been reading the books about being a good friend. We've been watching videos with catchy tunes about being kids who are kind. But now is when we are learning to take what we know and put it into practice.
We know what the expectations are, about being respectful, responsible, and really fun to be with. When asked, we can tell you that we want to treat others the way we want to be treated. But when push comes to shove (quite literally), all of what we "know" doesn't matter. Because our first instinct, in many ways, is to strike out. That is where my class of 17 is these days. So, after a Monday of too many tears, we decided we needed something more than just songs and words.
We have been talking about being "Everyday Heroes" (link at the bottom). We want to be that. We want to be kind, I am convinced of that. But it isn't always easy in the heat of the moment. Plus, I am convinced we don't always realize how many times we strike out at others. So, today we had a different approach.
I've been using the See...Think...Wonder approach to learning, so I thought I might try it today when talking about our hands. We all spent some time looking at our hands, really looking at them. Then I asked them what they saw. It was so interesting to hear their answers: skin, scratches, lines, freckles. They really did notice their hands. Then I asked them what they thought about their hands, and again, I was not disappointed with their answers: germs, dirt, nails, they wiggle. Then I asked them what they wondered, and we came up with wondering what our hands can do. I put all of this on to a visual to hang up. I made sure to emphasize that nothing our hands can do are "bad", but that some things are better choices than others, because, honestly, there are times when pinching, hitting, and making a fist are good things.
I had two friends today, in particular, that both really struggled with being hands on and hitting when they were frustrated. Because I am a firm believer that in kindergarten much of the things we may consider "discipline problems" are less a problem and more of a lack of realization of how many times we actually do something, I pulled the two into the hall individually, and we talked one on one about our hands and the good things they can do. Then we spoke of some of the harmful things they had been doing that morning, and I told them that I had a special certificate I wanted to give them if they can make it through the day without hitting anyone else. In order to keep track of this, I traced their hand on pieces of paper and set them aside, with a pencil. I told them that if they can make it through the day without needing to put a mark on their paper, they would get a "Helping Hands" certificate (kind of bribery, I know, but work with me here. I am not putting too much emphasis on the certificate, per se., but I knew this would be something they would think was pretty cool).
As suspected neither one made it too far into the morning without having to put a mark on their paper. But, instead of it being a day like Monday, where the hitting was at a level 3 def con, this was the only instance of hands on- for the entire class. Both were quite upset with themselves, and you could see the determination in their faces to find new ways to compromise and work together. Tomorrow will be another day, with a "clean hand" and a chance at that "fancy" Everyday Hero Helping Hands Certificate!
Today was a success in a few ways. It got us, as a whole class, to really look at our hands in a different, more specific way. It made two boys more aware of their own actions. It sparked a conversation about what kindness really means, and it helped us assimilate what we know into how we behave. Sometimes we don't realize how often we need to be spoken to, especially when we are five and brand new to school. Sometimes, instead of a lecture, we just need to find ways to be made aware of how often it happens.
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